A Legacy

2010-03-28T21:02:00.002+08:00

I lost my iTouch.
I lost some cash.
Ouh what the Fuck.

Thinkin of getting htc HP.
hm......
yea...
and, must buy camera.
right on.

Suddenly girlfriend told me, "I think there's a lot you have to learn about a women's heart."
Haiz....
What i do wrong??
I wonder what.......
Maybe she found out my hidden agenda?

2010-03-14T00:21:00.006+08:00

Vivo... Makan... Movie... Lepak.
With my Victorian Beauty.

2010-03-12T23:37:00.002+08:00

I felt so satisfied with myself.
Deep inside, i knew that i gained the respect of my men.
Unlike the rest, guess i gained a lot.
Morale was high before i left for home.

Charlie 7 all the way!!!!

Niway, she's mine now.
My property.
Fahrul's property.
After 7 long years.
The one who made me be what i am now....
Maybe she's the scabbard that sheath the sword.
She's mine now.
March 9th.

2010-03-09T13:59:00.002+08:00

Off day today... Thanks Encik.
The recruits are in now. My platoon.
The feelings totally different here.
My little brothers all botak.

Being the company duty sergeant's pretty tiring job.
Run here, run there, run everywhere.
Still there's this satisfaction thingy.

Their first two weeks of confinement, i can't tahan sak.
By right we all can't tekan them but... by left....
They got hell yesterday. Hahahahaha
It's nice to see people suffer.
but not for a bad cause though.

More then half-of my platoon was a drug abuser.
Some of them with family problems.
Court cases are nothing new too.
Still after every tekan session,
I talk to them.
Why i did such stuffs.
Why i scolded them.
For now, the passion to serve my nation.... Sky High.

2010-02-28T18:52:00.002+08:00

If I had a rose for every time I thought of her,
I would be walking through a garden full of rose.

Yesterday's picnic was......
surprisingly FUN!!!
Seriously!!!
I love Irah's cookin.
I wolfed down 4 packets of her dry bee hoon tom yam.

Damn...
Lucky Charms.

2010-02-19T01:34:00.003+08:00

Picking up where i left on from monday....
I was tryin my luck then, and she said yes.

For an impromptu diner date.
I tried something new.
Nice...
Was a blast then....

She told me the story of how she couldn't catch the bear.
There's this big machine/game where there's a lot of soft toys in it.
The one where you have to put a dollar in, two buttons to operate the machine.
One have to aim the claws on a bear, and it will grab the bear and bring it to the hole.
Get it?

We went to an arcade at Iluma then.
A lot of those things with different kinds of soft toys.
I don't know why girls love those satan dolls uh...
They all look the same to me.
So, she's eyeing this winnie the pooh bear.
Guess what i did....

Yes. Fork out cash, played that game till i get the bear.
Took me only 3 trys to get that.
I'm pretty embarrassed by the number of crowds that's watchin us.
What more, when i got that soft toy...
ALL CHEERED!!!
Malu siol.

Like a bedtime story, I got my reward on the bus ride home.
She's so beautiful with that out of bed look.
She is so soft.
I don't know how many times i said it but,
hopefully this ain't just another stupid infatuation thingy

2010-02-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

The holidays a blast.
And just now.... Monday, was the best holidays i had over 6 years.
It's pretty simple and again, spontaneous outing.

It's as if that 6 years were nothing.
Never thought we would ever went out on a date after all these years.

Everything change Mas.... but deep inside, i know you know that i know what you know.

2010-02-07T02:56:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of always hearing
All the sad songs on the radio
All day it is there to remind an over sensitive guy
That he's lost and alone

2010-01-24T20:58:00.004+08:00

Bleedin chin. Bruise hand.
Been an interesting week.
Initially thought it's gonna be one fuck up.

I think i beat up Khai pretty badly but, somehow or rather....
I love it.
To see him knock out in the ring twice.
I love it.
No hard feelings dude but you sparred with me at the wrong point of time.
I can't wait for Tuesday.
Gonna add more on my knock out list.
Beating them up sure release a lot of stress.

So, good news coming up.
The army wants me to sign on.
Got a letter stating i'm good.
I'm seriously thinkin of signing on again now.
Got nothing to lose and might as well i sell my soul to SAF.

Weekend was a great.
Damn. Truly i like this feelin.
It's pretty weird but damn.
I shy.

2010-01-10T21:12:00.002+08:00

My weekends flies by so fast.
Hahaha!
It felt like i'm in a movie...
It felt like 500 days of summer.

Doin things which i always wanted to do.
The year 1431H kind of like bring good to me.
Avatar 3D's exciting!
Damn...
I wish i could fly with the wind....
hahahaha
Thanks Suzy for accompanying me, and thanks to Nazzy... for recommending me that movie.

The sun's sets when i'm out, the sun rise when i'm in.

2010-01-03T19:40:00.002+08:00

I'm walkin and i saw loads of people passing out. Either drunk or sleepy.
When i look above, the full moon still shining.
And it's already 2.30am in the morning.
The first day of the year.
I'm turning 24 this year.
End of this year.
Getting old despite my youthful appearance.
Time's running out for me.

I'm still at Clarke Quay.
What i'm doin now i dont know.
im feelin so sick.
So sick of everything.
The smell of liquor once so pleasant turns bad.
I hate it.

I'm 24 and i'm still all single and doin nothin.
My aunt Yati been tellin me to settle down.
Find someone nice and for once just be with them.

I'm still one confused dude.

2009-12-20T21:14:00.002+08:00

A great weekend.
Sorry Iqah, didn't go to your chalet.
Was tired.
Purposely don't want to wish you yet.
Planning to do that personally, mano e mano.

Chalet yesterday was great.
Maybe the fact that my family relatives have so long not do those kind of stuffs.
For your info Yasmin, we used to do those shits when you weren't born yet.
Your cousins on your dad's side..... wonderful sia.

Made some friends. Swear to God, 90% of your cousins hot!!!
And at least i made a new friend in Atiqah.
hahahaha

3SG Bookin In NOW.

2009-12-19T03:05:00.002+08:00

"Gentlemen, 2 weeks of hell finally end.
Congratulations on pulling through UIP."

I've gone through the most deepest part of hell in UIP.
A couple of abrasions, and a torn left shoulder muscle.
I've suffered enough. Been fucked and fucked.

Finally all the sufferings are worth the while.
We gain respect.
At the end of the day, i'm happy.

Waiting, just waiting for the men to come.
We are told to fuck them hard. In the end, they'll be our toys.
Toys for sadist people like me. Entitled to do whatever punishment we could think of.
Here i am, waiting for them to come.

Why must i hold back? I've got my rank through blood, sweat and tears.
They'll gonna get it.
14th Mono, welcome to hell.

Then again, the thing is.... This is now a REALITY, no longer a fantasy.

2009-12-07T00:38:00.004+08:00

Dec 4th brings back loads of memories now.
Of my teenage days.
The joy and pain.
Reminds me of the egos i had,
which led to her demise.

Anyway, i'm a sergeant now.
Oath sworn to defend the republic.
Posting order, 1st Singapore Infantry Regiment(1SIR) of the 6th Division.
Known as the Leopards Den.
Leftenan Adnan bin Saidi was in 1SIR, so there's the pride in it.

Close Buddies, Haziq and I.

Former Leopard Platoon 1 guys. John, me, YongDi, Min

New Mooning on the Saturday with Suzy.
Billy Bombers, Chocolate Fondue with no bananas.
Hahahah...
Free shesha at Al-Majlis. Rahman's workin there.
Hahahaha!
NEAT!!!

Ate alot just now.
1. Deng Deng and Bananas in the morning
2. Roti John Special for lunch
3. Beef Steak for diner
4. Baguette with spicy chilly tuna for diner
5. 2 Rip-eye steak for diner
6. 3 Lamp chops for diner
7. Salads for diner
8. Thought of having magnum ice-cream now.

2009-11-29T21:17:00.013+08:00

Timbre.. Nice place to eat.

Plan was to meet Suzy and of to Timbre by 8pm.
Instead, meet up earlier to buy the birthday cake. Chocolate Oreo!
Nice.... but the thing is, we totally forgot to take pictures of the cake.
Hahahhaa

The food there, fantastico. I don't know why i've no appetite to eat.
Fuckin hell!
Duck meat pizza, some spicy pizza, buffalo wings, fries, some chicken shit, and like always... martini. This time, French Martini.

Maybe the fact that the food's free makes me not wanting to eat it. Hahahaha
Yea, diner consist of me, Suzy, Leen and Elfie.

Couple of Vodkas and a Martini

The girls, Leen and Suzy.

Me and birthday boy, Elfie. Happy 25th dude...

Leen gave me 3 choices to pick, on where to go after diner.
1st choice, clubbing. So of we went to Zirca/Rebel.
Yeap, she didn't even bother to mention about the 2nd and 3rd choice.
Damn, i gotta buy a vest!
Rahman join us for clubbin then....

Mr Tectonics and Mr Hip Hop

Dancin to Trance

Three of us

One thing i like about Zirca... the crowds and the DJs(today featuring DJ Fleming)

I FOed by 3am. Have to discipline myself.
Proud of myself.

2009-11-27T00:59:00.021+08:00

Sending cousins and aunties and uncles to Cairo, Egypt.
Feeling pretty shag myself though.
hahaha

At least, after 3 weeks in Taiwan, managed to meet them!!!
Love them to bits.
So most of the time just takin pictures in Terminal 2.

Let the pictures do the talkin....
Enjoy!!!

2009-11-23T01:27:00.008+08:00

City silhouette.
The fuckin hot Singapore's weather.
That's the city of Singapore.
Getting fine for smokin.
I could easily escape un-caught but, integrity holds.
That's Singapore.

Niway, i found old pictures of me and fatin...
My lips are venomous poison.
So, let the pictures do the talkin, about a girl that loves a boy.
My biggest lie.

Our last day together before we broke up.

People change. Either for the better or the worse.
i don't know which side i fall on to.....
At least for now, i've moved on. Away...

2009-11-22T01:05:00.051+08:00

12 days of training.
12 days of fun.
12 days of torture.
12 days of suffering.

Longstrike.
Near death experience.
How cool can that be? hahaha
Up the cliff with the field pack on.
Me being the point man.
Total darkness.
If the parang broke,
it's a long way down then.
So i'll be dead then.

Warrior.
Nothing much to say.
So far, i'm loving the weather there.
Cold.... So fuckin great!!!

Ah!!! Don't forget the earthquakes.
6.2 in the Ritcher scale.
Damn i'm damned.

RnR
Fuck man.
We fuckin enjoyed ourselves. Let the pictures tell part of the story.

Awaiting our flight to Taiwan

TOMATO MAN!!!

Looks a lil Changi Airport here

First day of RnR

3rd Sgt Ismail

Our cute tour guide

Upon reaching the Earthquake Museum

The Earthquake Museum was actually by chance.
The place initially was a stadium, school and some railway station.
One day an earthquake struck that area.
The stadium and the school collapsed.
Instead of cleaning the mess up, they leave it there.
Secure the ground properly and thus it became a museum.

Some random girl, she's pretty sia. More of a Victorian beauty

This is like "WTF?!" same shirt sia!!!

The Theme Park

Our first ride. It got all of us wet and cold.

This is one fuckin scary shit!!!

This is how tall the ride is.

The front portion of it. I don't know how Zul snapped this pic

The scariest of all. I can't even scream sia...
Almost peed on my pants.

Viking.

At She Men Ting

Inside Rock Fetish. The rockers from Singapore meet those from Taiwan.
The girl fuckin hot sia.
Have to admit it, the chicks there fuckin makes us so sick sia.

2nd Day

The Kids Theme Park

The only ride we took. Was fuckin drench even with the poncho on.

Sort of like their war memorial.
For those who fought the Japs and Communist Bastards.

Random shots with Taiwan girls. Meet Joy and Summer.

Their Precision Drill Squad.

Fuckin cool and kilat siol.

Guns N Roses and Used

The night to remember.

We really wanna get a massage after all those hard training.
BUT.....

We found this place instead, which also provides massage and some "extra" services.

So, it's for us to know.... For all of you to find out.

Damn it, I fuckin miss Taiwan....
Whatever happens in Taiwan, stays in Taiwan.
Only memories are left.

2009-10-26T03:04:00.026+08:00

Saturday well spent.
It's simply fantastico!

Plaza Singapura fuckin pack.
Got to know just now there's this Korean actor came over.
First stop Minds Cafe.
Fun and laughter.
Silly games.

Head out to Sentosa around 7pm.
It's simply a walk to remember.
Haunted House.
They knew well to pick out the spot. You know what i know.
Ghost everywhere.
Can't believe Khai, Jamie, Suzy got freaked out when they first saw it.
Makcik Keropok and Hot-Nurse-Turns-Ugly.
Joined later on by Leen(Suzy's friend) and Lenord(Jamie's BF).

Haunted House.
That's a house you wouldn't mess with.
All shits broke out.
Ghost and ghouls popping out of nowhere.
I only got spooked out by the first ghost who happens to flank on my 8 O'clock.
Then on, i roughly know where they'll appear from.

Minds Cafe, His idea.

She reached first, waiting while drinking till she's all bloated up.

Feeq looks drunk here. Hahahaha!

I just love this game, something like Heart Attack.

The group photo.

Spooktacular, her idea.

This ghoul looks pretty realistic.

They say, this cemetery's the highway to hell.

Ahh... this is the Hot-Nurse-Turns-Ugly.

Tell you something, i got goosebumps by just standing besides Makcik Keropok.

My dead Chinese bride.

Khai saw a Pontianak.

Hantu Jepun!!!! Banzai!!!!

This is scary shit. Pocong!!!

Before entering the haunted house, we have to either lick the tongue or simply, suck on it.

Some possessed idiot.

Hehehe

He looks more like a Starwars character.

Khai almost got himself slain.

Leen.... Somebody's lurking behind you!!!

The cast from Resident Evil Apocalypse.

Another Pontianak without her baby

He blushes when Khai gave him a kiss.

Someone beautiful. The pirate and the gothic princess.
Blissfully in love.
A gothic romance.

Her fuckin fuckin fuckin hot tattoo......

Bottom line, girls in red with cool tattoos turn me on la sial.

2009-10-24T01:02:00.002+08:00

Unofficially i'm a 3rd Sergeant now.
I passed my course.
Hahahaha....

5 days of sleep in bunk and doing shits.
Eat, sleep, eat, sleep and only for one day we did something cool.
Repelling.... Hell yea i did it like a guardsmen.

Goin off next week. 3 weeks away from Singapore.
Hahahaha...

Poseidon- God of the sea
Zeus- King of the Gods
Dionysus- God of wine and partying
Aphrodite- Goddess of love
Ares- God of war
*Hermes- messenger of the Gods

I'll managed these.......

2009-10-04T19:01:00.002+08:00

Phase 1 completed.
Taken out all the old clothes in my wardrobe.
Mission completed.

Phase 2.
Take out unwanted clothes in my wardrobe.
Mission yet to be accomplished.

Phase 3.
Call for Small Orange.
Re-org mission.
A shirt/T-shirt/polo-T per month.
Maximum monthly budget of $300 per month.

Mission GTS undergoing for 2 years starting yesterday.

Venue: ION, Wisma Atria, Paragon.
CDO: Siti Umairah
CDS: yet to be known

2009-09-26T17:25:00.002+08:00

I cheong really good.
How far?
All the way!!!

Been acting platoon sargeant at Kilo coy.
Juniors.
Lessons.
Teaching and teaching.
Easy job but tiring.
Running from ground floor to 5th story every now and then.

Shesha on the Wednesday.
At Nasrin's new room.

Clubbing as per wish on Friday.
First time i got rejected from Rebel.
WTF?!
Zirca's not that bad either.
That's actually the "2nd" way to get into Rebel.
Zirca, Rebel, Lunar.
10pm to 5am.
Arif and Agi.
And new friends made Nisa and Sya and hanan.
Screwed a chick.
Home.

overall money spend, $200++

2009-09-20T02:47:00.001+08:00

I wanna go clubing.
Anyone?
This comin Friday nite.

2009-09-19T13:57:00.002+08:00

A lot of stuffs happening now.
Feeling so shit.
So shit.
Shit.

Shit happens though.

Fuckin shit.
It just hurts like shit.

Glass hails from the sky that night.
I couldn't hide to save my life.
Standing drench in the open wounds.

2009-08-20T23:56:00.001+08:00

I'm crazy...!
I know i'm being childish but i couldn't deny the fact that i'm falling for somebody.

Falling in love with the girl at the rock show.
It's stupid lah.
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies.

2009-08-20T01:01:00.032+08:00

A fantastic week.
Went out with Syud and her friends on Saturday the 15th.
Ion, Far East Plaza.
Slack around and window shopping.
She is CUTE!!!
Long black hair with a red top!!!
Her friends, erm.... they are "OK LAH".
Couple of half-fuck boys.

Sunday the 16th
To lucky plaza with Mamai.
Watch "The Proposal"
FUNNY!!!
Below are pictures of that day.
Hahahaha!!!

Monday the 17th

Meet up with Diana.

Hang out at Vivo.

Didn't know that it's much faster to reach there by bus 33 from Bedok Interchange.

Just slack around, window shopping again and smoke like hell

hahahaha....

The girl with the tattoo.

Tuesday the 18th's an Epic.

I jammed!!!

It's been a long long long time since i punked rock like shit!!!

Fucking GOOOOOD la sial!!!

Met up with Jamie afterwards.

And off we went to Parkway Parade to meet the rest.

Pool, bowling, fun, laughter and joy.

I totally goes gaga over Hafez's car...!!!

He got the kind of car i love!!!

ARGH!!!

I should have taken my license sia...

Reached home close to 0100h.

Thanks Hafez, for sending us.

Hahahaha...

Went out just now around 8pm.
Shesha-ed with Francesca.
She got the life i want.
Rock music love baby.
Gosh she's so lovely when I get to know she's a rocker... just like me.

She's the girl from the rock show bebeh!!!
Wishing she's the one that i've been missing out on....

The week ended with a hug from the rocker.
Hopefully....
Hopefully.......
Hopefully..........

2009-08-16T02:33:00.001+08:00

Swollen Ankle.
It hurts but it feels soooooo good.
Don't ask me why but it just feel so nice to press on that swell.

The sharp feeling.
Painful but pleasent.

2009-08-15T01:48:00.008+08:00

BSLC, Basic Section Leader Course is over.

I'm a corporal now.

Somehow i've earned my place to crossover to OCS, Officer Cadet School.

But since i'm like missing for IPPT last week, i failed my interview.

Then again, i'm like happy that i actually pass BSLC.

So be reporting for Advance Section Leader Course, ASLC on August 24th.

Had an impromptu meet up with Khai and Suzyla.

Played pool since i last played with Iqah and Azurah.

Hm.... the touches aren't there YET but practice makes perfect.

The pictures are above. I'm lazy to post Khai's pic cause most of my blog entries contained his pictures.

Hahahaha...

Well, so Friday wasn't that bad afterall. Even with me being the Platoon Sergeant.

2009-08-05T02:05:00.004+08:00

Damn... Food from the Mckus.
Hotcakes with sausage in the morning.
Double fillet O fish in the afternoon.
Double cheese burger at night
It's all yesterday baby....

Guess what, i learnt to make wanton noodle. Hahahaha
NICE!!
And i'm gonna like have it again in a few minutes time.

My off days weren't so boring afterall.
Thanks to these people.
Who made my life on those off days fruitful and memorable.

Iqah sugar always sweet as sugar. Her friends aren't that bad a company. Fun time playing cards with you people!!! Hahaha

She might not know it but i love my baby "sister" a lot...
And we misses each other. Maybe i was so ignorant then. See you soon Susu, again.

2009-08-04T02:06:00.000+08:00

Everything came crashing down on me.
Due to this fever, i can't go back to camp for 6 days.
I'm missing all those cool things yet to be done but can't be done now.
I can't took my IPPT now.
And my future is now hanging by a thread.

Most likely they'll reject me now.

Damn it.

2009-07-26T20:05:00.000+08:00

The worst fieldcamp ever.
Grandslam finally over.
hahaha

Guess what, i actually sign on for Millitary Police.
So, the'll be eccessing me now.
If i'm doin good, i'll be in MP for 5 years.

My weekends are now so enjoyable.
Had a great time with Iqah, Syidah, Raqib.
Hahaha
And it's been a long time since i last shesha.

I'm still waiting to go to the beach.
Please...
Somebody.

2009-07-19T20:37:00.002+08:00

Last week, field camp.
I just finished my Gypsy this week's Friday.
This Tuesday Grandslam at Tekong for 4 days.
So much FUN!!!
Thanks be to Allah i've been graded during field camp.
For Gypsy, i completed all my task given.
Hahahaha...
Despite all the tiresome duties and tasks, i felt so satisfying.

Weekends have been surprisingly a blast.
Last week, Waheedah accompanied me shopping.
Armani Gio stuffs.
Spend not less than $150 at one shot.
It's really worth it in terms of long term thinking.

Just now, out with Mamai and Rashidah.
Movie date, diner and shopping.
I thought Susu's coming but apparently she's not.
So really, it's so FUN just now...
hahaha
And Shidah's sooo cute!!
I bought a shirt at topman.
I so gonna wear it later.
hahaha

tata...
booking in

2009-06-28T02:13:00.001+08:00

I ask my girl
To take a walk,
Down Orchard road,
Bypass Mandarin,
To Centrepoint,
Where we had lunch,
At MacDonald...

We had fillet,
And apple pie,
We share a cup,
Of lemon tea,
Holding her hand,
Look into her eyes,
I ask my girl,
to be my valentine

There was one night,
There was no light,
There was no light,
So we use torchlight,
Holding her hand,
Look into her eyes,
I ask my girl,
To be my future wife

When I book in,
I felt lovesick,
I coulnt eat,
I coulnt sleep,
Picking up handphone,
I call her home.
Her mama said,
She's not at home..

I want to cry,
I want to die,
After sometime,
I change my mind,
I told myself,
Oh wat a F**k,
Next time book out,
I try my luck...

There was this girl,
Who wears no bra,
Her tits so big,
Can see from far,
I ask her out,
She said "OK lah"
So off we go,
To Hotel Shangri La...

Down came her skirt,
Down came my pants,
I saw her hole,
So i start to screw,
She moan my name
I spank her ass.
After sometime,
Tarik senjata..

2009-06-21T02:14:00.002+08:00

For the first time at Kallang Cage,
I lost count of the number of goals i put in.
It feels so good when everything seems to collapse around me.

Mixing with the not matreps-ite guys makes me feel so comfortable.
Guess i should hang out with soccer dudes often.
Home sure is boring now.

I've still yet to go to the beach though.
i just want to go there.
At least before i enter SISPEC(school of infantry speciallist)

2009-06-20T01:43:00.002+08:00

December 22.....
December 22.....
December 22.....

Masturah's birthday then.
celebrated on December 23rd.
Coz mine's on the 24th....
The first and only time i celebrated a birthday with somebody i loved.
Past Tense.
Have to move on.

Went to Mind's Cafe.
HAD FUN!!!!
Iqah, her 2 friends, Ain and Syahidah, Khai and his friend, Liyana, and me.
I swear i'll be goin there frequently then.
But not to frequent though.

Went to Nenek's house before the outing.
I felt so pissed.
Angry.
How can she be so damn kind towards people?
I felt like crying then.
But held back my tears.
Nenek's been actually lending money to people!!!
And some haven't even pay her!!!
Seriously i felt so pissed with Sharifah Aini's mother.
That's right.
Sharifah Aini, the singer.
That lady.
Staying at my old house now.
Damn it la.
Nenek so old already yet you borrow from her.
Ask from your daughter la you fucker.
She's a Malaysian artist for God sake.
Fuck la.
Totally destroyed my mood for today.
Luckily i didn't show it up.

Love you so much Nenek. More than anything else.

2009-06-19T02:58:00.002+08:00

February 14, 2003.

I got my first real girlfriend like finally.
Syafiah.
Met her during our Malay Dance practice.
She was everything.

April 4, 2003.

Rumours that she's timing me.
I ignore those.

May 29, 2003.

Broke off with her.
Initially i've been timed.
She was never single. Ironically, the guy's from Chai Chee Sec and he's a friend of mine.
Made the right decision but with a heavy heart.

July 9, 2003.

Started a relationship with Farhanah.
A part-time model under Create Talents Agency.
Same school still and the same level as Syafiah.
With her, it felt as if she's grabbing my balls.
No freedom. Have to call her every second possible.
Must call her at night just to wish her good night.
Must report on the stuffs I'm doing.

August 8, 2003.

Broke up with her for 3 hours before patching up back.
Syafiah's been stalkin and spyin me since July 9th. Her networks of minahs reporting my movement. Even my own classmates knew about this.

September 3, 2003.

Broke up with Farhanah for good.
Why?
How does it feels like if you're girlfriend was literally fucking other guys?
And being me back then, i simply broke off with her. The reason being that i need to concentrate on my O's. What about Syafiah?
There she came trying to be nice.

September 20, 2003.

There i saw the girl of my dreams. So white, so pure. By the name of Masturah.
She was the torch that leads my night.
She was everything.
We became close friends. Very close.
We could even go on then became just friends.
What separates us then is Syafiah.
How evil that witch is.
She's the reason i didn't make the first important move.
I was nice an naive then.
Oh how much i hate it then.

March 2004.

My soul weep a million tears.
My heart bleeds a river of death.
Pain.
To suffer so much pain.
That 1 sentence is a death sentence.
How could a lady be so much 'pain'?

The events that changed me totally.
I'm pain.

February 17, 2009.

Once again i feel pain. Every grudge i hold on to gone.
It hurts but not so badly. Pain.
I'm lost.
Too much pain.
It feels numb now.
If only i could reverse back time.

It's cold now. So hard.
Empty.
Just a shell.
No more pain now.
It's just cold and empty.

I killed myself twice. Due to my own Stupidity.
If only i've waited. If only i've patience.
On that February 2003, i would have been with Nadia.
If only i've waited a little longer.
If only i'm faithfull, events on Feb 17 2009 won't happen.

Then again, everything happens with a sole purpose upon it.

2009-06-15T02:12:00.002+08:00

Drag me to hell.
A GROSS MOVIE!!!
Hahahaha... thanks Raudah for accompanying me.

Bought this cheapo printer at the IT fair.
Could scan and photocopy too.
Pretty interesting.
Still, i hate those crowds.

Nonetheless, we'll see how Monday comes.
I just feel like cycling aimlessly in the morning.
Ehk...
Why not, i cycle while takin pictures!!!
Hahaha!
That'll be cool.
At least it ease my mind of something else.
Other things.

2009-06-14T02:36:00.005+08:00

Had a Thursday night jog around Bedok Reservoir.

The cool wind's a blessing.

Some things will always linger around.

They had their drinks though.. Pfft.

With Sery

AND

Rin(who happens to be my neighbour)

2009-06-10T13:11:00.000+08:00

I'm a private now.

2009-05-09T00:23:00.003+08:00

Seriously i'm in need of pictures for this blog.
Hahahaha...
Live Firing done, Grenade done, Field Camp done, Sit Test done....
IPPT and SOC are all that's left.

Met Mamai just now for diner.
Sad that Susu can't make it.
Boyfriend calls uh...
Hahaha...
Had some catching up just now...
Like olden days.

Anyway my doubts were settled.
I'm surprised it still hurts deep under.
So purple light.
Eternity torn apart.
In the end it's not the tree that forsake the flowers but
the flowers that forsake the trees.
Someday i know i have to love the scars which is still fresh from
the blade of your "2 words".
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
I was blind then that the gambler i am lost all that i does not have.

Anyway, i've got soccer to look forward for tomorrow.

2009-05-03T01:21:00.002+08:00

I did these quizes in FaceBook, "Who Is Your Perfect Match"
The results i got is so true.

Your perfect match is someone who is kind, creative and quiet. This person is a thinker, someone who enjoys observing and analyzing the world. This type of person is content to let you do all the talking, yet is intelligent and bright and can contribute a wealth of knowledge to any conversation. While this person might seem aloof or even shy, once you get to know them, they are incredibly interesting, full of life and their serious side will compliment your more out-going nature. The top traits they are looking for in a mate include someone who is supportive, compassionate and understands their introverted nature. While this person might be somewhat skeptical that love exists because they are not big risk-takers and they choose their friends cautiously, deep down they are ready and eager to fall in love and will fall deeply for you, forming a deep and eternal bond. .

Anyway, watched X-Men with Linda, Shiya and Huzair.
Sorry guys i have to FO early.
Family calls.
Hahaha... Maybe if i were to have more cash, and time...
Maybe it'll be a fun outing.
hahaha.
So kental...

Lately, i've been thinking about myself.
My future.
So random but it's all after my fieldcamp.
I found myself a little different.
Not exactly after fieldcamp but to be specific...
The day after my fieldcamp.
I find myself thinkin of stuffs which i've never had any thoughts on.
I don't know why but maybe, the journey of life starts now.
Sounds crappy but I just want to be alone for now.
To reflect and planned ahead which route should i travel.

2009-04-18T01:23:00.002+08:00

I knew it all along.
That bloody guy.
I saw his msg on her hp.
Thinkin of a new start but always turns out to be like this.
So "mystery" solved.
Kaninaya, you Fuckin Cibai.

I should have know it.
Should have follow Khai's advice. I'm just too good for you. Teo bo?
Teo.....
The eclipse's about to end.

Anyway... it's always great to be in Tekong.
No supernatural shit happens there.
Sadly, the guys whom i would love to mix with, aren't in my platoon.
Damn it.
I'm officially a marksman. The SAR21 is extreamly easy to shoot with.
Maximum pull-ups i could do is 3.
Love my body now. Hahaha...

Last Saturday, was a great one.
Gym in the morning, soccer in the afternoon and movie date with Linda.
Thanks aye for the day.
Hahaha...

It's a New Moon.

2009-04-09T22:11:00.002+08:00

First week, spotted a lady leaning against the table. Lookin down. Spotted by Vinod.
Third week, Acau saw a woman in front of my cabinet. As in literally beside me. Few seconds later, i saw a figure at the window. Taj saw some white stuffs flying to and fro a couple of trees.
Forth week, they saw a small kid at section 3. Just now, found a few strands of long hairs on my bed.

I managed to go pass the last obstacle in my life now.
Felt fuckin happy man.
To achieve my goals.
Somehow, i just took a step closer.

PTP have gone...
BMT phase is coming.

2009-04-04T21:49:00.002+08:00

Army was absolutely fun!
Especially the physical expect of it.
The route march.
Foot and arms drills.

Glad that i pass my swimming test,
so no more swimming for me!
Great people there.
The pranks we played.

The things which i hate there are the nights.
The facts that my platoon mates kept gropping my ass.
And also the stuffs which happens at night.

Guard Duty at Ammo Dump was like great.
And fucking fucking fucking scary.
Had "off" for today.
Tomorrow i gonna push my body to the max...
tata....

2009-03-12T01:00:00.010+08:00

Few more hours... and i'm in.
A new life.
Something which i've been waiting for.
Something which i've been wanting for.
National Service.
To serve my beloved country.
This is for the Republic.

The Tuesday, March 10 outing....
Me, Khai, Mahirah, Sery, Jamie and Fez
Went to Vivo City....
Window shopping..
Waited and waited.
"VIP" came at last.
Smoked our lungs out.
Eat at BK...
Then Shesha at Arab St....
Thanks people...

My last sheesha....

This is what i got on Saturday....

My last soccer at cage... I injured my shin and calf that day

My last day at The Cocoa Trees

2009-03-07T16:31:00.002+08:00

Yesterday...
went to the carreer fair with Khai and Siti.
It wasn't what i expected it would be.
I heard there's like loads of jobs available there but,
in the end most of the booth is about upgrading yourself.

Headed to Bugis with them to meet Mahirah, Jamie and Sery.
I just hang out with them for an hour or so...
Smoking, joking and eating.
Then off to Seol Garden.

Benny, Sabrina, Za'fran, Syazwan, Amin, Jagan, Peter, Isa, Marni and surprisingly Zul came.
Had fun uh...
haha
I love the ice-cream Sabrina made me.
SEDAP.

Slack around Marina Square taking pictures.
Wan Super Four came with girlfriend.
More pictures.
Then pool.
Zul didn't join us for pooling though.
The pool was Sabrina's first ever game.
HAHA
Thanks guys. For being there yesterday.
I know i did such a stupid thing with her and I admit that i'm damn wrong.
But thanks for the concern.

Had soccer just now at 12noon.
That was my best and last game.
I lost count of the number of goals i scored.
HAHAHA..
I know it sounds boastful but that's a fact.
My game ended quick just now.
A tackle from Syazwan ended my game.
Could barely walk with ease.
Honestly i did cry just now.
Pussy.

PS: Pictures will be uploaded soon

2009-03-06T12:11:00.001+08:00

It's as if you never exist.
It's easy.
Respect.
Here i am at the eclipse of my life.

An eclipse.

2009-03-03T22:02:00.002+08:00

I went scouting for my NS stuffs just now.
Already purchase a pair of black glasses.

Things to buy:
1. Alarm clock (bugis st?)
2.Body foam (scouted at Mark & Spencer)
3.Shaver blade (can buy anywhere, preferably at Sheng Shong)
4.Underwear (no boxers)
5.Nail clipper (Sheng Shong?)
6.Handphone (I don't think i'll be using handphone for 3 months)

i find myself walkin down the memory lane...
I just feel so happy.

2009-03-03T02:29:00.002+08:00

At first it's "Cat Like Thief",
followed by "Letters To God",
ending with "There Is".
That's how my life is now.

A few imprints on my shins.
Saturday's soccer was fun.
Only 3 teams.
Thanks for accompanying.

Met Fatin at NUH jus now.
She seems happy with her watch.
So i'm off to tampines mall.
Just wonder alone.
Lookin for soccer stuffs.
Glad that Khai and Irah was around the corner.
Thanks to the both of you.
At least i'm no longer depress.
Haha...

2009-02-25T01:15:00.002+08:00

My conversation with Didi at MSN.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
1. from statistic based wen a boy wen for his NS its betta wifout a gf, coz it will cause mentally disturb issue.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
2. a woman can always forgive, but will never forget.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
3. stop cry now!! it will nvr turn bck the time

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
4. sumday she will feel the pinch u r feeling now.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
5. maybe its time u receive ur retribution for wateva u done to make her suffer bck den. im sorry to say dat, but a strong karma believer buddy.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
6. its not worth crying over a spilt milk.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
7. get a grip ayte, i understand how u feel.

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
but it's so hard

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
somehow the window is soo apetizing

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
i know..but u got to b super strong to handle this. its ur life we r talking abt now.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
shut up! kalau terjun mati. kau tetap duduk neraka.

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
tu pasal..

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
u think i got a chance to meet up with some girls during NS?

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
fahrul razi!! get a damn grip ok....u dnt need a girl in ur ns life, cause u b god dammit bz n tired to even kol or sms ur girl.

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
as in, they could relieve my stress

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
so even if u booked out mit ur cuzzy or male frens will do

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
hm... just when i'm totally zero with girl no.s

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
hey everyone can help u but if u refuse to help urself 1st n ctrl ur emotions....NOBODY mark my words NOBODY will help u!

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
thanks Didi... you already help me a lot

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
need anything find me here in msn or text my hp.

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
you mean anything?

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
hehe

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
remind me this week we mit up ok. relax ur mind. we laugh2 like normal shit we do

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
ur being such a pig!

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
i can imagine now ur stupid eyes so sore!

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
yea... thanks a lot

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
no worries wat r frens for <----SO SWEET!!!

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
hopefully i wont be makin the front page tmr....

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
you're my frens?

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
wtf!

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
fine im nt ur fren den

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
OMG!!! i'm so fuckin fuckin fuckin touch!!!!

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
ur jz n idiot to me anyway

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
wahahha

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
1st time you're so sweet to me Mardianah

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
FAHRUL RAZI....1 more time u say my full name im gonna kick u rite at the tailbone ok!

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
whats wrong with that didi.. it's a lovely name

Fehrul Stifler lost the sense of living. says:
if i got a daughter or a sister, i'll name her Nurul Mardianah

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
i hate ppl calling me by full name.

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
wassup wif the Nurul?

(*^...::: Di@nA LuRv€ YaDi :::...^*) دﻴﺎﻨﻪ says:
wahaha

2009-02-24T20:02:00.002+08:00

Those tears welled up my eyes.
It's worse than sadness.
Thinkin about it again,
it's all on my doing.

Just hope you'll be fine.
And i know the pain will ease in time.
I'm sorry for hurting you,
And i somehow knew you won't be mine.

2009-02-23T00:24:00.006+08:00

Friday and Saturday....

Soccer...

Non-stop action.

I had a couple of knocks for Friday's game though.

The following pictures captured yesterday.

The sweelings gettin better...

Thats actually the imprint of Bang-Khai's boot

Saturday's game, with TP guys.
Seriously fun though.
Most of the guys are national servicemen except for me, Zap and Wan.
I love that days game though cause, most importantly, I got my form back.

Afro, Goldie and Cappy

Here's to the rest (minus off Ewan and Anif who's in the shower)

Officially, i'm dateless. A couple of weeks before NS.
Wow.
Heeh.

2009-02-19T11:22:00.003+08:00

February sure is a fucky month.
I'm so dissapointed with 'some' people.
Very.

At least Man Utd won again.
Beating Fulham 3 goals to nill at Old Traford.
At least that put up a smile on my heart.

I guess today will be another day i'll be rotting at home again.
Unless, i'll go cycling later?
After like a week of no cycling, kind of like miss it.

2009-02-18T00:54:00.002+08:00

I really can't believe this is happening to me!!!
All those bad lucks been mounting.

I was actually waiting for Bee Movie to start,
in the end it didn't. Stupid HBO.

My Civica Pte Ltd pay, still not in yet.
Been waiting for like a month.
They told me, they didn't received my January time-sheet.

The Cocoa Trees, another problem.
Kak Mimi told me the idiot who's supposed to write down our names on the cheque,
wrote my name wrongly and thus, only mine, ONLY MINE being delayed.

Due to my anger, i broke my guitar.

Fuck February.

Anyway, went out with Za'fran just now.
Town...
Thanks for paying me my lunch. I'll pay back.
He got his scarf. I had my eyes on this cool rocker jacket.
Gonna buy it.

I got a haircut like finally.

2009-02-17T01:17:00.008+08:00

There's some person i really miss right now...

And 1 person i totally am missing now.

But...

New rules established.

Strict rules i set upon myself.

Those were the days.

I had fun with you people but, our parting is for my own good.

Especially to Mamai...

I won't be sorry for all the stuffs we had, the good and the bad.
But i'll be sorry for the things we can't do.
You know what i meant Mamai...

Those rare moments i hang out with O'Lyn... and her nieces. I don't have their picture with me though.. But i admit there are a fun bunch..

I'm happy that Farahyn forgive me for the thing i did to her, last year.
As a guy, i definetly have to pay up to that.
Sorry again Farahyn.

2009-02-14T01:53:00.002+08:00

So, it's valentine's day...
I'm broke.
Stupid me.
What a day to be broke.

But then, even if i'm pennyless,
even if i've nothing with me...
at least there's an effort i made...
wishing some friends a valentine wish...
ONLY FOR FEMALES.
THOSE WITH PUSSY.

Sorry guys.
hahahaha.....
As if you all really care.

2009-02-12T02:04:00.024+08:00

So....
Just came back from my holiday...
Pictures below...
Enjoy..

2009-02-08T16:41:00.008+08:00

One of those happenings yesterday.

Had soccer with Poly mates.

It's been like ages since i've met some of them.

Afham, Khai, Karim, Adil etc...

Hahaha...

Fun even though we needed to shift places twice.

Surprisingly, Benny came down too.

Hahahaha

At night, cousin's birthday!

They are actually my Dad's cousin's kids.

So yea...

I used to only see them during special occasions.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUDA!!!

Celebrations at Al-Majlis.
It's on the house from Atikah, Miss Manggo Addict.

There's still some "gay" moments between us... Hahahaa

Overall, i do had fun yesterday...
Should hang out more often.

Goin out to celebrate Mom's Birthday later...
Tata...

2009-02-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

فلسطين يا أرض الرباط

فلسطيني أنا أسمي فلسطيني
نقشت إسمي على كل الميادين
بخط بارز يسمو على كل العناوين
حروف اسمي تلاحقنيي,تعايشني,تغذني
تبث النار في روحي وتنبض في شرايني

جبال النار تعرفني مغاويهاو تدريني
بذلت الطاقة الكبري و قلت لامتي كوني
صلاح الدين في اعماق اعماقي ينادني
و كل عروبتي للثأر للتحرير تدعوني
و راياتي التي طويت علي ربوات حطينٍ
و صوت مؤذن الاقصي يهب بها اغيثوني
و الاف من الاسري و الاف المساجينٍ

ننادي الامة الكبري و تهتف بالملايين
تقول لهم الي القدس الي الاقصي قبلة الدين
الي قلب تدك الظلم تزهق روح صهيون
و ترفع في سماء الكون اعلام فلسطين
و تهدر كلمتي تمضي فلسطيني فلسطيني فلسطيني