I got my first real girlfriend like finally. Syafiah. Met her during our Malay Dance practice. She was everything.
April 4, 2003.
Rumours that she's timing me. I ignore those.
May 29, 2003.
Broke off with her. Initially i've been timed. She was never single. Ironically, the guy's from Chai Chee Sec and he's a friend of mine. Made the right decision but with a heavy heart.
July 9, 2003.
Started a relationship with Farhanah. A part-time model under Create Talents Agency. Same school still and the same level as Syafiah. With her, it felt as if she's grabbing my balls. No freedom. Have to call her every second possible. Must call her at night just to wish her good night. Must report on the stuffs I'm doing.
August 8, 2003.
Broke up with her for 3 hours before patching up back. Syafiah's been stalkin and spyin me since July 9th. Her networks of minahs reporting my movement. Even my own classmates knew about this.
September 3, 2003.
Broke up with Farhanah for good. Why? How does it feels like if you're girlfriend was literally fucking other guys? And being me back then, i simply broke off with her. The reason being that i need to concentrate on my O's. What about Syafiah? There she came trying to be nice.
September 20, 2003.
There i saw the girl of my dreams. So white, so pure. By the name of Masturah. She was the torch that leads my night. She was everything. We became close friends. Very close. We could even go on then became just friends. What separates us then is Syafiah. How evil that witch is. She's the reason i didn't make the first important move. I was nice an naive then. Oh how much i hate it then.
March 2004.
My soul weep a million tears. My heart bleeds a river of death. Pain. To suffer so much pain. That 1 sentence is a death sentence. How could a lady be so much 'pain'?
The events that changed me totally. I'm pain.
February 17, 2009.
Once again i feel pain. Every grudge i hold on to gone. It hurts but not so badly. Pain. I'm lost. Too much pain. It feels numb now. If only i could reverse back time.
It's cold now. So hard. Empty. Just a shell. No more pain now. It's just cold and empty.
I killed myself twice. Due to my own Stupidity. If only i've waited. If only i've patience. On that February 2003, i would have been with Nadia. If only i've waited a little longer. If only i'm faithfull, events on Feb 17 2009 won't happen.
Then again, everything happens with a sole purpose upon it.
